This post was originally written in 2016. I kept it in my drafts, and although I did make a YouTube video from this blog post, I never published it. Reading back on this in 2019, I’m eternally grateful that my story had a happy ending, but also heartbroken that so many of my infertility sisters are still waiting for their miracle.
Infertility has always been a taboo subject. Although it affects 1 in 8 couples, people go out of their way to not discuss it. Sometimes it’s either too painful to speak about or they think it’ll make the other person uncomfortable. I have been very vocal about my TTC journey from the get-go. I want to open the conversation gates and get folks talking about their infertility or TTC issues. It doesn’t have to be as public as I’ve made mine. Just talk to someone – a family member, a friend, or a stranger on an internet forum. Get it out instead of bottling up.
It has been almost a month since news broke that I’m struggling with infertility. I never in a million years thought that I could possibly be “one and done“. I will stop at nothing and exhaust every effort until I have a baby in my arms. This can’t be it.
Infertility is a lot of things.
Infertility is heartbreak, exhaustion, fear and hopelessness.
Infertility is also love, passion, selfless and hopefulness.
Infertility is questioning everything you put into your body and whether it’s a factor in why you can’t conceive.
Infertility is holding it together until you’re alone to let the water works loose.
Infertility is line eye. Is that a pink line?! No…that’s just an indent, evaporation line, a faulty test, the devil playing tricks, etc…
Infertility is going broke over pregnancy tests…and ovulation tests…and blood tests…and doctor appointments…and medications on top of MORE medications and…[you get the point]
Infertility is bitterness over the abundance of pregnancy announcements plastered on Facebook.
Infertility is happy for you, but sad for me…