I have only been TTC aka Trying to Conceive (click here on more TTC lingo) for almost two months. At the time of writing this post, I’m actually 5dpo and will begin testing on Halloween! Boy, would I love to get a BFP on my second favorite holiday!
A lot of women prefer to keep their TTC journey to themselves or strictly on an online forum like BabyCenter Community (which I am an active member). Since I’ve put my TTC efforts on my blog and my Instagram, I get a lot of advice – some especially helpful, but some just should never have been said. Even though I’ve only been TTC for two months, I’ve had folks tell me things that you simply should not say to someone who has a deep longing for a/another child.
1. Just relaaaxxx! – No. Once you have your mind set on TTC, it is nearly impossible to just relax. Every single day, I think about how to get my alluding BFP. When I’m on my period, I just want it to end so I can move on to waiting to ovulate. When I’m in my proliferative phase, I go nutso with OPKs. When I’m in my luteal phase, I have to restrain myself from taking a HPT too early.
2. At least you have your daughter/son! – While I can’t wait to give Bella a little sister or little brother, my desire to have another baby has little to do with her. I have enough love in my heart for two children. With that said, Bella does want a sibling terribly. These past two days, she has asked if there was a baby in my tummy!! I hear that children have a sense about these things, so FX that it’s a sign!
3. When you stop trying, it will happen! – I’ve heard stories about women who have been TTC for months/years, and when they decide to take a break, that’s when they get their BFP. However, those antidotes are far and few in between. I can’t just stop trying, just like I can’t just relax.
4. You should lose a little weight first! – Unless you’re my doctor, please don’t express that thought to me. I don’t care if I’m TTC or the opposite. I’m very aware that weight can play a role in conceiving. I know very well that I should lose some weight, but I’m not going to stop TTC just to lose weight. Why can’t I do both at the same time?
5. You have plenty of time! – I’m only 24 years old, and I know that some couples don’t even begin TTC til they’re in their 30’s. Since I’m 24, I’m still on my parents’ insurance. My wallet would be forever grateful if I could have this baby before I turn 26 next December, so you know — I can get the prenatal and postpartum care that I prefer without having to shell out thousands of $$$. That only gives me til EARLY March 2016 to conceive, and that’s pushing it!!
6. It only took me one try! – Congratulations? I don’t know why others feel the need to remark on how quick they got pregnant to someone who is TTC. Would you go up to someone with a bad case of the flu that just don’t dissipate, and say “yeah, I had the flu, but I got over it the next day!“. No, you wouldn’t…or at least I hope not.
FYI: I got pregnant with Bella by DTD just once in July 2009. However, I’m 6+ years older, and I just had my paragard IUD of 5 years removed. It was badly embedded into my cervix, and one of the strings is still stuck. And while I was told it wouldn’t affect my fertility, I’m not convinced. Granted, I’m only on my second cycle, and I could very well get my BFP. I worry about miscarrying, and I worry about how I would birth with a string in my cervix…
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