…but I was only nineteen.

Actually, Isabella was conceived when I was eighteen. Had her a little over four months after I turned nineteen. I had my whole life ahead of me. Graduation was a joyous moment in my life. But, just two short months later…I was nine months away from being a mother. A mother?! I’m so young. “A baby having a baby” – as strangers, friends and some family members remarked (either in their head, behind my back, or straight to my face).

Strangers who see me out and about with my daughter give me disappointed and disgusted looks…some even go as far as say “look at that little girl with that baby”, “poor girl”, and (my personal favorite) “couldn’t keep her legs closed” (along with other insults that are along those lines). 

Every time I hear about a child abandonment case or child abuse case…people AUTOMATICALLY assume that the woman was a TEEN/YOUNG mother. STOP IT! Not every teen/young mother is a bad mother…not every one of them is Jenelle off of Teen Mom. Unfortunately, I cannot say most. I’ve gone through my Facebook deleting mothers who are druggies. I don’t want my child around you. I don’t want to be around you. You are a bad influence. And, want me to be honest? Your child shouldn’t even be in your custody. If you see your precious little drugs more than you see the human being that came out of your body…time to seek some treatment! I have seen my child EVERY day, besides every other Saturdays. But, not all…My mother OFFERS to keep her overnight. That’s right, I don’t live with my mother. Anyways, and some weekends – Bella’s dad gets her. Boy, does she LOVE her daddy!

YOU DON’T KNOW ME.
YOU DON’T KNOW MY SITUATION.
YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY PARENTING SKILLS.

I AM A FABULOUS MOTHER.

I AM A YOUNG MOTHER.
I AM A MOTHER!


So, please…keep the rude stares and comments to yourself. 
Yes, I am a 20 year old mother…who takes care of her child EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, AND FINANCIALLY. 
My child NEVER EVER even comes CLOSE to being low on food and diapers.


When I was two-three months pregnant…I sold 95% of my wardrobe to purchase Bella clothes, washcloths, shoes, socks, etc etc.
(I KNEW she was a girl…)
I bought Isabella’s car seat.
I bought Isabella’s stroller.
I bought Isabella’s bassinet.
I bought Isabella’s changing table.


All at the tender age of 18.

Did I receive help? You’re damn right I did. 
Her crib was graciously given to me by Bella’s grandmother (her dad’s side).
A friend of her dad’s donated a high chair, walker (used once when Bella was immobile…I’m against walkers), swing. Along with a BUNCH of boxes of clothes.
Her dad’s sister gave Bella a BUNCH of clothes…and is STILL giving me her daughter’s old clothes (her daughter is born during the same season…so, everything is seasonally correct).

Oh…the BABY SHOWER. I had nearly FORTY people show up. TWO VEHICLES had to carry all my gifts back home. (Pssst, I bought a lot of my baby shower decorations…and I paid for the rental place).
I WAS SO GRATEFUL.
Still am!

Everything that Bella outgrows…I put into storage. My next child will be a lot cheaper, regardless of gender. After I’m done reproducing (haha), I plan on donating it to low income families.

ISABELLA EATS BETTER THAN I DO.
Of course, I’d rather it be that way than the other way around. I’d give the shirt off my back for that little girl. I’ve had dreams of my house catching on fire, including the entrance to her room – but not including the rest of her room. I ran in…got my baby, opened a window, jumped out…landed on my back. I was paralyzed, but my child didn’t have a scratch on her. Then I had another dream that someone tried to shoot Bella…and I jumped in front of her. 

Why am I having these dreams? NO IDEA. Is God trying to tell me that I will be tested someday? Is he trying to tell me that there will be a situation where I will have to put my life in jeopardy to save my daughter’s?

CAUSE I’M READY.
BRING. IT. ON.
That was a rambling…if I ever did see one. But, hopefully those who read this understand who I am better…and possibly change their misconceptions about young mothers, if they had unpleasant opinions before.

Comments

  1. says

    I love this post! I had my son when I was just 18, and I can related to every word you just wrote. I just blogged about my story too. People are so hurtful, condescending, and ignorant. You're doing a great job, mama!

    I'm a new follower too! 🙂

  2. says

    I love this post! I have always hated the way so many people look down on young mothers! I know several older mothers who are not near as caring as the young mothers I know! Mothers like you are the reason there are so many GREAT kids!

    My situation is different, but I have people assume my husband & I only got married because I was pregnant (when our son was born 1 1/4 years AFTER our wedding), or say we are too young to be proper parents (23). Eli is only 4 months old, but I think we're doing great.

    http://www.journeythroughmommyhood.blogspot.com

  3. says

    You sound like a wonderful mother!
    Do you know what is so great about being a young mother? One day, you will be a young Grandmother.
    I wasn't quite as young as you, but still young when I had my Daughter. She was also a young mother, your age. That made me a young Grandmother. I love it because I am able to keep up with my GrandChildren.

    My Grandchildren are now 17 and 18. My Daughter did a wonderful job of raising them…. so if anyone puts you down for being a young Mom…. Ignore Them!!

    I am a new follower.!!

  4. says

    I'm 21 and have a 3 month old daughter. I have been married since I was 19. I look pretty young, so when people would see me when I was pregnant I would get “looks” I wanted to wear a shirt that said “IM NOT 16 AND PREGNANT” and now I want to wear a shirt that says “I AM NOT A TEEN MOM” Most people are really nice to me now that I have had the baby.

  5. says

    So well said. I'm not a young mother but I've witnessed myself how rude people can be to teen moms. You are right no one has the ability to just look at a woman, young or old and KNOW what her circumstances are or to have the right to sit in judgement of her.

    I'm a new follower from the Making friends Monday blog hop. Hope you'll stop by my blog and check it out too. http://www.centsationalsaver.com. Thanks Dena

  6. says

    There are worse things than being a young mother. Ideally, it's best to not get the cart before the horse. Realistically, it doesn't always happen that way.

    My hat is off to you young lady for having the determination to own up to motherhood in a bold way when some seek to abort their precious babies.

    You are young. You can achieve anything you set your mind on. It just now takes a bit more planning, but that's not all bad.

    Not every young mother has a happy story to share as you. Maybe your inspiration will help other young ladies who find themselves in the same shoes as you.

    God bless,
    Cathy Kennedy, Children's Author
    The Tale of Ole Green Eyes

    PS: Thank you for visiting my family friendly blog!

  7. says

    I've never had any kids, but i have a girlfriend who has kids young, and so i understand vicariously at least… Don't let anyone tell you you're not a G, cuz you're a G, babe!

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